Not Just Cute

Mandy Ehman at Life…Your Way, is offering Valentine links all this week for you to enjoy with your families. Today, her feature is treats and crafts for kids, so I thought I’d share a fun kid-friendly treat I made with my boys over the weekend. (Click here to see all of today’s links!)

After seeing these dipped marshmallows on Pinterest, I thought we’d try something similar. I picked up some heart shaped marshmallows, almond bark and candy melts, sprinkles, and sticks. We also threw in some pretzels as we already had a Costco-sized bag on hand.

First I put the large marshmallows on sticks. The sticks not only make them a little more fun and festive, but they make dipping the marshmallows a breeze for the kiddos. I set out all our dipping options and spread out wax paper for drying while I melted the coating in the microwave following package directions (more or less).

The boys and I had some fun discussions about solids and liquids and what it takes to make the coatings melt and then set up again. (Poor boys with a nerd for a mom can’t even make candy without being suckered into a science discussion.)

Then we set loose to dip, drizzle, and sprinkle to our hearts’ content.

Just a few tips: The marshmallows on sticks were easy to dip right in, but for smaller mallows and pretzels, toss in one or two at a time and use a fork to coat and then lift them out. Be sure to tap your marshmallows and pretzels to allow the excess coating to drip off. Place on wax paper to cool, unless you want to leave half of your marshamllow on a plate, as we accidentally did with one or two.

We had a fun time making them, and the marshmallow sticks made a fun bouquet, but I have to admit, the chocolate covered pretzels were still the hands-down favorite in our family. (I’ve recently seen heart-shaped Rice Krispie treats dipped as well. That may be our next dipping adventure!)

Have some fun with your littles (and work in a little sweet science while you’re at it) and dip some treats for Valentine’s Day!

Weekend Reads 1.28.12

notjustcute — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 08:06:28 +0000

Articles:

Toddlers to Tweens: Relearning How to Play {Christian Science Monitor}

Don’t Call Introverted Children “Shy” {Time}

What MaryAnn F. Kohl Can Teach Us About Fostering Literacy Through Art{Tinker Lab} (MaryAnn’s book looks fantastic, and Rachelle is hosting a giveaway on this post, so check it out!)

Family Time: Connecting with Older Kids {Childhood 101}

Activities:

Learning Activities with Legos {My Delicious Ambiguity}

Valentine’s Day Sensory Box {Pink and Green Mama}

Love Bug Pet Rocks {Let’s Explore}

30 Kids’ Activities & Materials for Promoting Fine Motor Skills {Hands On As We Grow}

Enjoy the weekend!

Top photo source.

Hip Hip Hooray for Valentine’s Day!

notjustcute — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 08:20:04 +0000

I find it interesting, given the interesting discussion on praise that we just had, that Valentine’s Day is creeping around the corner. It may seem unrelated to some, but in my mind if there is one thing that is an even more powerful reinforcer for children than praise it is love. Pure, unconditional love. That can be shown through the words you say, the actions you take, and the time you spend together.

So with that in mind, I think it’s time to enjoy some Valentine’s Day fun with the little ones we love and teach. Show them love, celebrate love, talk about love, and help them show it to others. Here are a few links for some great Valentine’s Day ideas.

Here at NJC:

Valentine Art You Can’t Buy

Turn to an Old Custom for a New Tradition on Valentine’s Day

Will You Be My Valentine? (Includes links to the Candy Heart Count activity with its new and improved printable!)

Valentines, Friends, and Communication (Study unit with activities.)

I’ve also found loads of great Valentine’s Day activities and printables that I’ve been pinning to my Valentine’s Pinterest board. Among my faves: Treats like these Valentine Jelly Pops, lots of printable Valentine’s like this one, and awesome creative activities like this tree of hearts collage.

And you may want to pick up a lovey dovey free printable for yourself like this, this, or this (pictured at top).

More than anything else, find Simple Ways to Show Your Kids You Love Them.

I’ll be back next week with more Valentine’s Day activities, and linking up with Mandi Ehman of Life…Your Way, where you’ll find V-Day ideas galore!

Pondering Praise

notjustcute — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 08:50:49 +0000

Because I follow the brilliant Janet Lansbury on Facebook, I have come across several interesting posts about praise recently. In one of those, Lisa Sunbury of Regarding Baby shared her thoughts in Praise Not , a read I would recommend. All this reading got me thinking about praise.

It can be a tricky subject, the whole debate about praise and rewards. I’ve posted about it in the past in a panel discussion and I’ve also written about the potential for backfire when we rely too much on praise (see Praise Junkies Beware).

I wrote about it in my ebook, and I teach about it in classes. It can be a tricky subject to comprehend. You hear people saying you shouldn’t praise your kids, and suddenly you’re left wondering, “So what can I say?”

I usually explain it by teaching about the difference between encouragement and judgment. The terminology is less important. Feel free to call it what you like. The important thing is how you do it, not what you call it.

Praise and Judgment

Praise becomes a problem when it is administered too liberally, meaninglessly, and generically. It backfires when it’s used as a label or when children are manipulated or conditioned to seek outward approval.

But a problem arises when adults learn about the down side of praise and ride the pendulum all the way to the other side trying to censor themselves, resisting every urge to say anything that might possibly be kind of sort of like praise. No more compliments, no more high fives. That might be taking it a bit far.

There is great power in positive reinforcement, and as I meantioned earlier, it isn’t so much about what you call it, it’s how you do it. Here are some tips I share in my ebook and classes to help adults recognize how to give encouragement (or effective praise, if that makes you feel better).

Encouragement

I think this quote from Robert Martin draws a great contrast between encouragement and praise:

“Taking an interest in what people are thinking and doing is often a much more powerful form of encouragement than praise.”

Encouragement is more about acknowledging and taking a sincere interest and less about labeling people, efforts, or work with your own judgment.

So back to the question, what do you say?

Be Genuine

Make your comments sincere. Don’t shovel out accolades for commonplace things. If you sincerely appreciate how a child carefully hangs up his jacket, say so. “Thank you for hanging your coat up. That sure helps keep the cubby area clean.” But if you dish out overenthused comments children will sniff out your lack of sincerety. (“Oh, awesome job! You are the most amazing coat-hanger-upper I’ve ever seen!”)

Be Specific

The generic “Good Job” gives no feedback. It doesn’t help a child know what behavior you’re referring to. And, overused, it eventually carries no meaning at all. Be specific and descriptive with your comments. Even, “Good listening” gives less information than, “You sat with your body still and your eyes right on me. It looked like you were working very hard to listen carefully.”

Avoid Judgement

Be careful about passing out labels. Responding to a child with “That’s awesome!” seems harmless enough, but handing out such a label may actually reinforce work that the child thinks was sub-par and done with little effort.

Labeling with your own judgment also conditions children to seek their value from the opinions of others. These pattern of people-pleasing can lead to plenty of struggles down the road.

Ask Them

Instead of emphasizing your opinion, ask what they think. “Tell me about what you did at circle time today.” “Tell me about your painting.” “Wow, you used a lot of blocks in this structure. Tell me about it.” All of these comments show genuine interest, allow the child to evaluate his/her own work (which enhances executive functions), and will give you more insight into a child’s thoughts, passions, and capabilities.

Recognize Effort and Progress, Not Just the End Product

When you really think about what you’re encouraging, it isn’t the outcome — the outstanding work, the happy child. You’re actually trying to encourage the work it takes to get there. So comment on and take interest in that work.

“You’ve really stuck with that. You’re working really hard.” “It looks like that’s getting a little easier. You must have been practicing.”

You want children to understand it isn’t about who they are but what they consistently do that’s important. So genuinely emphasize the actionable work they do, get their input, and be interested without being judgemental. You’ll find the influence these responses have on the children you love and teach are more effective and more positive for your child’s development.

What do you think? How do offer encouragement in a healthy way?

Top photo source.

Center photo source.

Weekend Reads 1.21.12

notjustcute — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 16:52:54 +0000

Articles:

Can You “Enforce” Your Limits Without Force? {Aha! Parenting}

Family Time: Dating Your Family {Childhood 101}

How to Be Awesome at Everything {Jon Acuff link via Life….Your Way}

On Gifts and Talents {Momastery}

Activities:

Join the Next Creative Challenge {Tinker Lab}

Personalized Alphabet Book (pictured above) {Modern Parents Messy Kids}

Exploring Snowflakes {Chocolate Muffin Tree}

10 Simple No-Mess Crafts for Tots {Frugal Family Fun Blog}

Have a great weekend!

Top photo.

Is that Fair?

notjustcute — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 08:39:53 +0000

“We treat everybody the same.”

It was an innocuous comment really. Assuredly said with the best of intentions.

So why did it get under my skin?

Let me make a few things clear before I begin to blur the common definition of fairness. I do think children need consistency and that they do rise to our (appropriate) expectations. That said, however, I don’t believe that “fair” means everyone gets the same thing. To me, “fair” means everybody gets what they need.

It’s certainly easier to work with absolutes. And it’s certainly a challenge to ascertain individual needs and address them appropriately. There’s plenty of room for error. But there’s also a better chance that you can effectively get to the heart of a child when you see them as that. A child. Each one. Not a cluster of children, but an individual.

Perhaps my personal philosophies regarding the whole child, the individual learner, implementing developmentally appropriate practices, and working within the zone of proximal development are to blame.

Maybe it’s years of experiences working with children seeing their uniqueness and trying to meet individual needs.

When I taught first grade, for example, I had two or three children in particular who struggled more than your average first-grader when it came to sitting at the rug. A one-size-fits-all philosophy would suggest that anyone who can’t sit at the rug like everyone else earns the consequence of sitting with their head down at their seat, spends some extra time inside during recess, or takes a time out.

“We treat everybody the same” seems to suggest that you either sit at the rug like everybody else or you receive a negative consequence. But I saw it differently. These kids weren’t like everybody else. The task of sitting knee to knee with their friends on the rug was particularly challenging for various personal reasons. Why would I treat everybody the same when they weren’t?

Our solution? Whenever these children came to the rug, they could choose to sit in their chair at the rug (near the back so it wouldn’t get in the way). Sometimes they chose to sit on the rug “like everybody else”. Sometimes that worked. Sometimes it didn’t, and all I had to do was ask if it would be easier to bring over a chair. They either worked harder at this challenging task and succeeded or they used appropriate accommodations to help them succeed.

Perhaps the most ingrained experience I’ve had with “treating everybody the same” was when I worked as an alternative language aid for new immigrants in an elementary school. It was a position I enjoyed, but toward the end of the year, it was my job to administer the standardized tests to some of the students I had worked with. Some had been in this country for only a few months, and yet, because we had to “treat everybody the same” I was not allowed to give directions to them in their own language.

It killed me to look at these bright children looking blankly at these papers. They were bright kids. But we couldn’t treat them any differently. That wouldn’t be “fair”. “We treat everybody the same.”

The truth of the matter is no one treats everybody the same. And no one should. We don’t expect children in wheelchairs to climb the front stairs, we don’t ask children who are blind to read from the same books as the rest of the class, and we don’t insist that deaf children take oral exams.

We’ve learned to recognize the special needs of children and try to meet them where they are and lift them higher. But doesn’t everyone have a special need? Some are less obvious and may take great effort to discern, but it’s the same reasoning I use for all children.

Some children need more personal space, others need more social scaffolding. Some struggle with anxiety, others with impulsivity. Some need more attention, others need more privacy. We owe it to the children we love and teach to know them well enough to find their special needs and give them the support they need. Even if that means treating them differently.

Fair doesn’t mean everyone gets the same thing. It means everyone gets what they need.

How do you balance the concept of fairness with individual needs?

Photo source.

Checking Out Preschools? Here are a Few Things to Look For…

notjustcute — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 08:44:35 +0000

It’s that time of year again. Parents everywhere are standing behind one-way windows or sitting on child-sized chairs, trying to peek in on preschool classrooms and hoping to asertain whether or not it’s the right fit for their children.

I often have people ask me what they should be looking for. My first answer: You have to know your own child and pay attention to those specific needs and interests. Once those individual needs are taken into consideration, here are some things I look for in a quality play-based preschool setting, originally posted last year.

This is my dream list, and you have to realize that there are some great programs that won’t have every component I list here. You have to be aware of what your priorities are and what you’re willing to live without or make up for at home.

Structure/Schedule

Free Play. I would want to see about one hour of a part day program devoted to free play. This doesn’t mean everyone in the classroom is running around screaming. This means the children get to choose from a variety of planned and prepared activity areas (discussed below) that they can engage in with little direction from teachers. (Notice I said “little direction” not “little interaction. More on that later too.) This format provides for more valuable social interactions, allows children to be inquisitive and follow their interests at their individual paces, while also teaching children to plan and organize their time.

Large Group. A smaller portion of the day would be spent in a large group setting where all of the children meet together for group games, music and movement, fingerplays, stories, group discussions, or active and appropriate mini-lessons.

Small Groups. Time would also ideally allow for children to be divided into smaller groups for book activities, cooking opportunities, or other projects that require more individualized attention.

Snack. I like to see a snack in the structure, not just because I like food, but because there is a lot that can be taught about social skills in that setting. A little food along the way also helps to keep little bodies on an even keel.

Environment

The preschool room would be inviting, print-rich, and child-centered. Get down on your child’s level and see it through her eyes. Can you see the decorations? Can you reach the supplies? The room should be arranged in a way that invites your child to participate, and teachers should be able to identify the developmental objectives of each activity.

These are the activity areas I would look for in an ideal room:

Dramatic Play. This is the dress-up area. Ideally the props and themes would change from time to time. Language and social skills are strengthened here, along with problem-solving and symbolic thinking (critical for reading and other academic endeavors).

Art. Along with an easel, it’s ideal to see a table in an area that encourages creative art. Supplies may be organized as to be available every day, but ideally the media would change from time to time. I would hope to see more arts than crafts here.

Sensory. Whether it’s a homemade sensory bin or a high-end water table, I’d like to see an area where children can explore a variety of sensory media.

Blocks/Construction/Large Motor. A large open area should be available for block play where children might build with unit blocks as well as a variety of other construction sets like marble tracks, pipes, or tracks. This large open area would also be used for large motor movement activities like obstacle courses or music and movement activities. (Of course it could be so ideal that they have both in two separate spaces! :0)

Small Manip. One area would ideally be devoted for manipulatives that promote fine motor development. This is the place for puzzles, lacing beads, peg boards, and small blocks like Legos.

Writing Area. To encourage literacy, there would be an area of the room with writing supplies (notebooks, clipboards, pencils, crayons, envelopes, etc.) available to the children at any time. Additional writing supplies would be integrated into other areas as props, lists, or sign-up sheets.

Book Shelf. There should be a book shelf in the room that visually calls the children to come and read. The area would ideally include soft areas for the children to plop down with a book. In my ideal scenario, children would be read to in a variety of settings throughout the day: whole group, small group, one-on-one in free choice time, or simply browsing independently.

Outside. In my perfect world, every preschool program has a devoted outside area for the children (which is offered as part of free choice and also integrated into other planned activities.) This area would be safe, but also with natural rough edges. Fancy slides and play equipment are nice, but I’d trade it for a big sandbox, gardens, trees, and bushes.

Teachers

I would hope to observe teacher interactions in the classroom. Teachers would be interacting with children (not just other teachers) during free choice time, questioning, rephrasing, and challenging the children, not just directing or reprimanding them. I would watch for signs of rapport with the children: getting down on their level to make eye-contact, appropriate touch, enthusiasm, positive guidance, and a passion for what they do, as well as a positive response from the children. In a perfect world, a preschool class would maintain a teacher to child ratio of one teacher per four or five children. I would want to know that the teachers were well-trained and that the staff had a low turnover rate.

Questions

If I had the chance to ask questions during an orientation or a visit with the director, in addition to any questions about what I’ve already written above, I’d ask:

What type of communication can I expect? (I’d hope not only for an open-door policy and open communication, but also for newsletters that tell about what’s going on and what’s being learned, not just when I need to pay and when the next parent event is.)

What is your philosophy about play and academics? (I think I’ve made my own opinion clear here.)

What do you do to encourage developmentally appropriate practice? (If the director is unfamiliar with this term, I’d be pretty nervous.)

How do you deal with behavior issues? (I’d be hoping for some positive guidance techniques of course.)

What can I do to help in this program? (I want a program that sees me as a partner, not just a bus driver with a tuition check.)

You’ll want to spend some time thinking about other questions that pertain specifically to your own child’s needs. It’s also a good idea to connect with other parents who have or have had children in the program. (You can ask the director for references.) Parents will give you a different perspective than directors and teachers.

What I’ve described here is my ideal. Keep in mind that you may not find everything in one program. Decide which things are deal breakers and which ones you can compensate for. Each child is different, and responds differently to different details. In the end, you have to go with your gut.

What would you add to my lengthy list? What do you look for? What other questions do you have as you check out preschools for your child?

Photos by Anissa Thompson.

Weekend Reads 1.14.12

notjustcute — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 08:20:13 +0000

Articles:

Growing Veggie Lovers {Peanut Blossom}

The Most Important Thing You’re Teaching Your Child {Aha! Parenting}

Here’s an interesting pair of articles with differing views. I’d love to hear your perspective!

2011 Lesson #2: Don’t Carpe Diem {Momastery}

Parenting Beyond Kairos {Mama Smiles}

Activities:

Glitter Bottles and Sticky Table…Sticky Wall {Teaching 2 and 3 Year Olds}

Repurposed Mitten Puppets {Playful Learning}

Painting with Light {The Artful Parent}

Cardboard City {Frugal Family Fun Blog}

Enjoy your weekend!

Photo source.