In working to support both parents and teachers in using sound principles of child development in the home and classroom, I hear a lot of concerns.
But I’ve Told Him A Million Times: Why A Child’s Defiant Behavior Isn’t Always What You Think It Is
I have my finger in many technology-laden pots. But technology is NOT my jam. This site where you’re reading this, the Facebook page where you likely found it, the podcast you may have listened to, the resources you may have used — these all require SOME degree of technical acumen. And it is honestly the hardest part of the work I do.
Why Telling Kids What NOT to Do Tends to Backfire
One of my favorite stories from my parents’ early experiences as a young married couple at law school ends with my mom opening her front door to find a friendly neighbor standing there next to my sister (a young preschooler at the time), who had stripped down to her nothings and was covered in mud.
My sister was elated.
Sorry, folks. That’s not positive parenting.
Positive parenting is a popular term right now. It encompasses approaches to parenting that value connection, playfulness, and teaching over punishing.
How 4 Words Changed The Way I Talk to My Kids (And Everyone Else Too)
I’ve known for a long time about the danger in the word “but”. Experts in communication, leadership, motivation, and relationships all warn about the deleterious power it has. Regardless of what was said before, “but” has the power to undo it all.
“I really want to get healthy, but I don’t want to exercise.”
Hit this Reset Button on Grumpy Days
I don’t remember what it was that set him off in the first place. But he had passed annoyed and had clearly moved on to angry.
Are Parents Unable to Just Say “No” These Days?
Maybe you’ve noticed the latest trend in the running commentary on parenting. “Parents today are too soft. They’re raising spoiled kids who’ve never heard the word “NO”. Parents need to show their kids who’s in control here.”
While I’m sure you could find plenty of examples to validate each perspective, I tend to wince a bit whenever I hear these tendencies to frame parenting in the extremes. Take in enough of these stories and it would seem that as a parent, you have two choices. You can either be a spineless push-over or a heavy-handed dictator. But the truth of the matter is that we know from research that the majority of kids thrive in that sweet spot in between. [Read more…]
Be The Best Parent You Can Be
When my oldest was about 6 months old, he reverted to waking every two hours at night. I felt like a zombie.
Positive Guidance Tools: Redirection
Challenging child behavior comes from a variety of causes (you can read more about how to get to the root of those causes here). Because the causes are so varied, we have to have a variety of tools at the ready to help us respond appropriately. Just as Bob Vila carries more than just a hammer in his tool belt for addressing the variety of challenges presented in a home, parents and teachers need more than one tool for responding to behavior.
In my ecourse, Parenting with Positive Guidance, I teach 10+ tools for building positive discipline — the type of discipline that encourages both positive behavior and healthy relationships. Here is an introduction to one of my favorite tools: Redirection. [Read more…]