I loved playing volleyball in high school. I took pride in being a scrappy player. “Ball first, body second” was the motto that led me to be colorfully adorned with bruises all over my elbows and hips during each season. It’s also the reason I wound up in the ER (twice) for stitches in my chin. In my view, the ball wasn’t unplayable until the second it hit the ground. Up until that point, I did everything I physically could to get my body to the ball.
12 Powerful Parenting Phrases that Make Talking to Kids Easier (Even When the Situation is Anything But Easy…)
Talking to kids can come so easily. They have thoughts about everything and stories for miles. They see the world in a completely different light, and could ask enough questions to fill an afternoon. I, for example, could ask my second oldest son to tell me what he thinks about Star Wars, and I’ll have to schedule out the next four days to listen to his stories, conjectures, questions, analyses, and highlights. My contribution will be simply to say, “Yes!”, “Wow!”, and “I hadn’t thought of that.”
Sorry, folks. That’s not positive parenting.
Positive parenting is a popular term right now. It encompasses approaches to parenting that value connection, playfulness, and teaching over punishing.
How 4 Words Changed The Way I Talk to My Kids (And Everyone Else Too)
I’ve known for a long time about the danger in the word “but”. Experts in communication, leadership, motivation, and relationships all warn about the deleterious power it has. Regardless of what was said before, “but” has the power to undo it all.
“I really want to get healthy, but I don’t want to exercise.”
How a Baby with a Mustache Taught Me to Be a Better Parent
“I left a baby gift for you on your doorstep. It’s the perfect thing for a mom with four boys.”
My friend mentioned this to me casually as we both worked in our neighbor’s kitchen, preparing refreshments for a wedding.
The “impulsive three-year old” section of my brain wanted to drop what I was doing and immediately run next door to tear open this gift. What could possibly be the perfect baby gift for a mom who had just had her fourth boy? It was even more intriguing to me because this friend is an amazing mom herself. She has seven children, and while I’m sure she has stories that would contradict my accounting, every one of them always seems so well-behaved, so kind, so creative, so smart, and so sweet. She certainly knows a thing or two about motherhood, and so I hoped that this gift was some secret of the trade. A talisman from my Jedi master.
The “responsible adult” section of my brain won out, and I helped out with food for a few more hours before making my way home to find a small wrapped box on my doorstep. I slid my fingers through the tape and pulled out the box.
And started laughing immediately.
Here’s a look at what I found inside:
That binky. I laughed because it was hilarious, but I also laughed at myself for thinking the gift would be so serious. [Read more…]
March Madness and What Time Outs Should REALLY Look Like
Ah, March Madness! It’s a fun extended family tradition in our house, connecting siblings and cousins across generations and across the US as we share our best guesses (and a lot of random selections) in our personal brackets. All for bragging rights, and maybe some free ice cream.
We got our boys in on the action this year, with our ten year-old checking out the ranking system (coupled with some of his personal team loyalties), our eight year-old comparing team colors, our five year-old showing we may need to brush up on our Geographic awareness as he selected “Virgeorgia” as one of his teams, and our two year-old showing a clear penchant for the underdog, selecting a #10 team to take it all home. (I guess that’s what happens when you fill out the bracket with a series of “this or that” questions.)
Filling out the brackets as a family made for some questionable life lessons, such as my husband’s comment that, “You don’t have to make a good choice, you just have to make a choice.” But one of the lessons March Madness always brings to my mind is the importance of a good coach and what time outs should really look like.
Trust me. It really does have something to do with child development. (Incidentally, this basketball analogy may be the post most frequently referred from wives to husbands. Go figure.) [Read more…]
Perspective: A Powerful Tool for Challenging Behaviors
I couldn’t help but think about parents and teachers who love and teach children with challenging behaviors as I drove along the hills behind my childhood home this past weekend.
3 Basic Principles for Positive Parents
Anyone who’s had more than one child can attest that kids come with their own quirks. Different temperaments, personalities, and needs. It makes sense then, that there’s no ONE, RIGHT way to parent. It takes an array of tools and approaches to be responsive when you’re dealing with different kids — or simply the mood of the moment.