How Language is Acquired

Simultaneous or Sequential

What You Need to Know

Advantages You've Probably Thought About

Advantages That Might Surprise You

• Bilingual children with competence in two languages that share a writing system (as do Spanish and English) show acceleration in learning to read.
• Language knowledge has been shown to transfer, meaning knowledge and skills in one language will often help in understanding others.
• Bilingual children show advanced problem solving skills.
• Children speaking two languages show more density and neural activity in the language centers of their brains, which may also influence memory and attention.
• Multilingual children have demonstrated enhanced abilities in  attention to detail, selectivity, focus, and other executive functions.

Challenges to Consider

A House of Learning

• Be a role model.  Let your children see you reading, learning new skills, taking classes, or finishing up that degree. 
• Think together.  Engage your children in conversation, wonder out loud, and introduce new words and ideas. (You can read more about why that's important in another post here.)
• Let books abound.  Go to the library together.  Give special books as gifts.  Take children to the bookstore.  Read together.  Children who have access to books and are read to regularly have a clear learning advantage over children without such experiences.

Be in the Know

What They Don't Teach You at School

The Choice is Yours

(Photo provided by rrss.)

Photo courtesy of osmar01.

Photo provided by mikkimoo. 

           I have been told I am a patient person.  I disagree.  I feel claustrophobic in traffic jams, get slightly annoyed when grocery store checkers can’t get the three people in front of me through the line at lightning speed, and I tend to tap my feet when waiting for the internet to connect requires more than one second.  I have some unrealistic expectations of life that cause an impatient response.   When it comes to working with children, I have learned that understanding some specific things about their development and allowing that to influence my expectations goes a long way in diffusing the normal feelings of frustration.  Here are a few developmental insights that may be valuable to you as well.

            Preschoolers are egocentric.  It’s not a personality flaw, it’s just normal development.  At this age, children can only make sense of the world as it relates to them personally.  To a child, if she wants a toy, everyone else should want her to have it!  Or, suppose another child is hungry, in his mind, the most important thing to everyone else in the world should be getting him some food!  One major purpose of sending children to preschool is to put them in an environment with other egocentric children and create situations where they must become aware of others’ needs and develop the essential skills of social problem-solving.  In fact, conflict between children, while it should be managed, should not be eliminated.  It is through social conflict that children learn to move beyond egocentrism. 

            Preschoolers are developing self-control.  Self-control is not a skill we are born with.  Just as we must learn to turn the frantic flailing of our arms into intentional movements, we must learn to turn our impetuous actions into planned and thoughtful behaviors.  Young children don’t usually hit their friends because they think, “I’m going to be mean today.”  They simply get a strong impulse and they act on it.  They don’t make a mess with the flour because they want to drive us crazy or even make the mess, they’re just curious, so they explore.  This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t correct them.  Young children need the boundaries to be set and proper behavior to be explained, as well as reinforcements and reminders to be given (again and again), in order to aid in the development of self-control.  At the same time however, we must remember that they do not think the way we do, and their intentions are often innocent.   

            Preschoolers think in concrete terms.  Projecting cause and effect scenarios and weighing hypothetical situations require abstract thinking, an advanced cognitive process for young children.  This often causes them to make choices that are obviously wrong to us, but to them, the disappointing result may be a surprise.  Again, knowing this is not license to ignore such behavior.  Our coaching and modeling helps them to progress past this here-and-now type of thinking.  Reminding ourselves of this developmental stumbling block simply helps us remember to take that deep breath and talk with them from a more understanding viewpoint.

Preschoolers are dependant beings struggling to develop independence.  Young children depend on adults for their very survival.  From infancy they have learned to do what they have to do to communicate their needs to us.  Preschoolers have progressed a long way from the days of their infancies when they cried to communicate virtually every need, however there are still moments when their ability to communicate is overshadowed by the urgency or depth of their needs.  They may again resort to crying, tantrums, or outbursts, in a basic attempt to get our attention and communicate a need.  When we can recognize this, it helps to calmly communicate to the child that he has been heard.  For example, “You want it to be your turn now, don’t you?” or “I realize you’re very disappointed right now because you wanted to stay a little longer.”  Communicating the need back to the child may not immediately stop the tantrum, but it lets him know we are listening, while also giving verbal labels for emotions and enabling him to better cope with and communicate those feelings and needs in the future. 

Follow your statement of understanding with a short explanation of what the realities are.  “Right now it’s Ben’s turn.  It will be your turn as soon as the timer goes off.”  “We can’t stay any longer because we have to pick up your brother now.  But we’ll come back again soon.”  Again, your explanation may not magically stop your child mid-tantrum, but it gives him a model of how to calmly and appropriately communicate needs.

On the flip side of this dependency, is the fact that preschoolers are trying to develop and establish their independence.  They want to have control.  Children often act out when they have become frustrated with either their physical inability to act independently (lack of necessary strength or muscle control to complete a task for example), or our personal unwillingness (whether warranted or not) to allow them to act independently.  We can help children with this need by first, recognizing it, but also by building in elements of independence and control where appropriate. 

We can offer choices (where both choices are acceptable to us) to give them.  “This is a parking lot, and we need to stay safe.  Would you like to hold my hand, or hold the grocery cart?”  We can also give them small tasks to allow them to feel that sense of independent accomplishment.  It is helpful be aware of situations where they may want to act independently but are not physically able to do so, making accommodations where necessary (placing stepstools near the sink, for example).  We can communicate to them our understanding of this need when we are unable to allow them the independence they seek (“I know you really want to pour your own milk, but this jug is just a little bit too heavy for you.  Let’s put some in this small pitcher and you can use this when you want to pour it yourself.”  

These are just a few of the developmental components that often perplex us as adults.  By understanding where our children are coming from, we can have more realistic expectations for their behavior, communicate to them more effectively, model appropriate behavior, and properly meet their needs.  And as a result, you just might fool people into thinking it’s all because you’re just a patient person!

Learn more about Positive Guidance for Preschoolers

• What do you think would happen if....(you pulled that block out?)
• Why do you think....(the water climbs up the filter?)
• Why did you ....(use the square shape next?)
• What else could we use....(to measure the sugar?)
• Tell me about....(your picture.  OK, that one's not actually a question!)
• How could we find out if your guess is right?
• What does that remind you of?

Photo courtesy of hyperorbit.

During the preschool years, children are bombarded with very strong emotions, yet their developing language skills often limit their capacity to express those feelings.  In such situations, it’s much easier to act than to speak.  What results are the tantrums, the hitting, the biting, and other behaviors, which too frequently typify the preschool years. As adults, we can help reduce these undesirable behaviors by giving children the tools to express their emotions verbally.  Here are a few examples:

·         Label emotions.  Label your child’s, your own, and those you come across in stories.   Go beyond “mad” and use more descriptive words, such as frustrated or disappointed.  This gives your child the vocabulary to express emotion verbally.  Additionally, research has shown that the very act of labeling (and thereby validating) a child’s emotions provides comfort. 

·          “I’m so frustrated with this computer right now.” 

·          “I’m sorry you’re feeling so disappointed about not getting that today.” 

·          “How do you think the three little pigs felt when they heard the wolf at their door?” 

·         Help them verbalize their needs. Preschoolers commonly act out when a need or desire has been frustrated.  Frustrated needs could be the need to be independent on a new skill, the need for an object that they can’t obtain or that has been taken away, or the basic needs such as sleep and food.  

·         “You look like you’re upset about something.  Tell me about it.”  “What do you think we could do about it?” 

·         “I can help you when you can use words to tell me what you need.” 

·         “I can understand you when you use a calm, polite voice.  Then I can know how to help you.” 

·         Guide them through social conflicts.  When children fight over toys or get upset about something that was said or done, we can verbally coach them through those situations. 

·          “How do you think it made her feel when you ___?”  

·         “How did it make you feel when he ____?”   “Maybe he didn’t even know that would make you sad.  Can you tell him that and ask him nicely not to do it again” 

·         “Instead of taking the doll, you could ask her if you can use it when she’s done.” 

·         “What would be a polite way to ask him to move?”

Helping children to verbalize their emotions doesn't always give immediate end to an emotional crisis, but it does build the foundation for children to find more peaceful ways to address their frustration in the future.  When adults validate children’s emotions and provide them with an open dialogue, it not only helps children to develop that ability to verbalize their feelings themselves, but also shows them empathy and assures them that they are understood and loved.  That comfort alone can go a long way in soothing the occasional storms of the preschool years!

For more on Positive Guidance, click here!

See also: Tools for Tantrums, Pro-Social Development, Language & Literacy

• Story time is rhyme time.  Read rhyming books, poems, and nursery rhymes.  Once your child becomes familiar with them, pause before rhyming words to allow your child to fill in the missing word.
• Go for silly talk.  Use nonsense rhyming words in a sentence and see if your child can understand what you mean.  ("Will you throw this wrapper in the bashcan?")
• Can you find the rhyme? Pick a word and come up with rhyming words together.  Remember that because phonemic awareness is a task of sounds, nonsense words are completely OK.  You can even make it a riddle.  ("I'm thinking of a word that rhymes with hat.  Do you know what it is?)
• Motion for matches.  Say a pair of words and have your child clap/jump/blow a whistle/etc. whenever the pair rhymes.  Really play up the fact that you're trying to trick them with pairs that don't rhyme.  You can simply say the words, or use sets of picture cards made specifically for rhyming tasks to give the children a visual cue along with the spoken word.
• Same starting sounds. Talk about beginning sounds, such as the beginning sound in a child's name, and come up with other words that have the same beginning sound.
• Solve the word mystery.  Say a word, separating the syllables as "clues" and ask what your "mystery word" was.  Beginning with compound words for this task is usually easiest.  (cow+boy=cowboy)  Then move on to individual syllables (jack+et=jacket), and finally to individual sounds (/s/+/a/+/d/=sad).
• Surround sound.Immerse your children in language sounds.  Sing silly songs and fingerplays using rhyme and alliteration (search this blog to find some great examples).  Make your own rhymes together, create songs to sing about daily tasks, and use alliterations to name your creations ("This is my super silly spaceship to the stars!").

The advent of writing is a momentous time in any child's life.  It is important to realize that the process preparing a child to write begins very early in life; long before she puts pencil to paper.  I view the development of writing as having three major components:  1.  Fine motor control,  2.  Understanding that print carries meaning, and  3.  An increased awareness of the alphabetic principle, leading to more conventional spelling. 

Fine Motor.  The first obstacle to the physical act of writing is obviously the physical skills of fine motor control and hand strength.  Until a child can grasp and control his writing instrument of choice, his paper will remain blank.  Children begin this process of physical development from infancy.  As a baby, first larger muscle coordination is honed then fine muscles can be developed.  As babies become mature enough to use a finger and thumb pinching motion to pick up small pieces of food from a high chair tray, they are beginning to progress in their fine motor control.  Throughout early childhood this skill continues to be practiced.  This is done through any fine motor activity like painting, sculpting playdough, or tearing paper, activities children begin doing in their very early years.

Print Carries Meaning.  The thing that gives writing value and makes the task intrinsically motivating for any of us is that it carries meaning.  Think about it.  When was the last time you sat down and wrote random letters just for the sake of writing letters?  You wouldn't waste your time because there is no pay-off.  Similarly, children are unlikely to learn to write simply because you've told them to sit and write letters.  They must first appreciate that what they write carries power.  It conveys a message.  It becomes almost magical to them; the idea that their thoughts can remain even when they leave the room.  Even when a child scribbles unrecognizable figures on paper and hands it to you explaining that it's a letter, that child is demonstrating a knowledge that print carries meaning.  Though the mechanics of writing and the concepts of spelling remain underdeveloped, the primary concept that ideas can be recorded is a huge milestone!  As a student teacher in a kindergarten classroom I was handed a small card from a student with a series of intentional scribbles.  I asked the author to tell me what it said.  Her response still makes me laugh.  "I don't know," she said, almost indignantly, "I can't read yet!"  As she was growing in her awareness of reading and writing, she had become increasingly aware of what she didn't yet know. 

The Alphabetic Principle.  As children increase in fine motor control and gain more knowledge of the alphabet, its components, their formation, their sounds, and the way those sounds are combine to create the words of our language, the more their writing becomes conventional.  Their writing progresses from pictures and scribbles, that simply convey an awareness of meaning, to letter-like forms, and eventually actual letters in decipherable arrangements that convey the intended meaning of the author.  This process takes time and experience.  It is a developmental process with its own stages and progressions (click here for examples of developmental writing).  It is important to recognize and celebrate writing in all its phases, not just those that appear closest to our own adult attempts.  Don't panic if a fervent writer begins to show less willingness to write.  As I mentioned with my kindergarten friend above, as children begin to "know what they don't know" they may be a bit less willing to write.  This is actually a sign that they are advancing in the writing process and becoming increasingly aware of the alphabetic principle and conventional writing.  Support them through this period by valuing their attempts and being careful not to correct or criticize too much.  They may prefer more support than in the past to ensure a more correct result.  Offer to write the words on a separate paper for them to copy.  As you do so, involve them in the writing process so that they are, perhaps unwittingly, still putting their own skills into practice as you spell the words together.

It is important to recognize and encourage writing in all its stages and to support the various components of developmental writing.  Workbooks and drills may have their place within moderation and when welcomed with enthusiasm by children, but removing meaning in place of rote exercises causes writing to become less meaningful and authentic and eventually less motivating.  Here are a few ideas for encouraging writing development in the early years.

• Strength Training.  Provide a variety of activities that will strengthen fine motor skills.  This could be anything using the hands and fingers like cutting with scissors, sewing with needle and thread, lacing beads, building with small blocks (like LEGOs), kneading dough, using basters and tweezers at the sensory table, and the list goes on.  (Search this blog for plenty of fine motor activities!)
• Write in Front of Them.  Think of the many ways you use writing and involve your children whenever possible.  Need to make a shopping list?  Ask your children to help by making suggestions or making lists of their own!  Writing a note for someone?  Tell your children about the note and ask where you should put it so that the recipient will find it.  When children see you write and know it has a purpose, they begin to understand that the written word carries meaning.
• Write Together.  Help your children make cards or help them record stories by transcribing their words.  When your child shows you a picture ask, "Tell me about this picture!"  Or, "Can we write down a story to go with this?"  Even if you merely write down a label or title for the picture, it is a goes a long way in personalizing the writing experience.  Involve your children in writing letters or thank you cards.  As you record what is said by your children, repeat the words as you write them to connect the written and spoken words.  To increase awareness of the alphabetic principle, occasionally stretch out the sounds as you go.  Pause now and then and "think out loud" about the spelling.  "Truck.  T...t...t...t... what letter do you think comes first?"  Invite your children to write their own names at the bottom of a letter or picture.
• Let Them Write Their Own Way.  Provide your children with a variety of writing materials to explore and experiment with.  Make sure these materials are freely accessible for your children to be able to write independently.  You may want to set up their own writing table, drawer, or shelf, depending on the amount of space you can allot.  Incorporate writing into their play when possible.  Playing restaurant?  Give her a notepad to take orders.  Have a cop on your hands?  Maybe he could write out tickets.  Princess trapped in a tower?  A letter carried to the prince by a dove might help him find her.  Let your children experiment with different writing forms.  It may be just a drawing that conveys the message, then scribbles that follow a line, then symbols that resemble actual letters, then letters themselves, and finally words.  Whatever the developmental level of a child's writing, honor it!  Ask what it says and commend them for working so hard.