Weekend Reads 3.24.13

I’m so excited about my friend, Jean Van’t Hul’s new book, The Artful Parent.  It’s a beautiful, inspiring book.  You’ll be hearing more about it from me and others during Jean’s blog tour coming up!  (And there’s still time to preorder her book and get her ebook for free!  Check it out here!)

Articles:

Saying “Yes” Anyway {Simple Kids}

The Genius of Raising Brilliant Kids {Forbes} (Hat tip to Rachelle from Tinker Lab for the share.)

Why I Don’t Make My Son Share {Pop Sugar}  (Interesting discussion starter.  I’d love to hear your thoughts!)

How to Make Silent Reading Really Count {Teach Mama}

Activities:

Gross Motor Activity: Tape Jumping Game {Hands On As We Grow}

DIY Lego Puzzles {Playful Learning}

Hanging Out the Wash: Fine Motor Math {No Time for Flash Cards}

Making Gruffalo Tracks {Toddler Approved}

Other Places You’ll Find Me:

Greenhouse Getaway {The Organized Parent}

Enjoy the new week!

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8 Comments

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8 Responses to Weekend Reads 3.24.13

  1. Great reads! Thank you! As for sharing…I don’t force my boys too. Respect is really the main driver. I would like my children to learn to respect another person’s work and time working. On the other end, I would like my children to learn when they’re done with ‘work’ because they are indeed finished and not because someone forced them to be done. I love her points.

  2. PS. I will say one point I didn’t agree with was when my sons take an item from home to a shared playing space, like a playground, they know that this item is up for sharing with all children there. I let them know, “okay, if we bring this train to the playground, you need to be prepared to have other boys and girls play with it too.” Most often they decide not to bring it, which honestly is a relief to me. The mom’s comment to her child is awful though. It is one thing to think that much and then there is another thing to say it in front of children. Yikes.

  3. PPS. Sorry I am totally bombarding your comments but this article on sharing hit me. I wanted to add that I thought her tone was fairly defensive, which is too bad given the large audience. With that said, I can relate to her because I am in her camp and typically the “not forcing sharing” thing shocks other parents. Here is the thing though…your kids still share…I think many people against this approach forget that…

  4. Claire

    The sharing article was interesting. I agree with some of her points and disagree with others. When playing with toys at a community center, the toys are there for all the kids. I personally would set a reasonable time limit on my son’s play with a particular item if there were other kids who were interested in the item (although I understand her point that there were many similar items there). About a year ago my son and I were at the community center, and he wanted a turn with a toy guitar. A little girl was hoarding a shopping cart full of toys, including the guitar, but wasn’t playing with any of them. He nicely let her know that he was waiting for a turn, and waited for quite a while. Finally she brought the shopping cart full of toys into the craft room and sat down at a table to do a craft. (She had had the cart of toys for about 1/2 hour at this point, and hadn’t played with the guitar at all.) He asked again if he could have a turn with it, and she still said no, and her mother did not encourage her to share. I thought this was wrong. The toy was just sitting there not being used, and he would have gladly returned it after a few minutes. So I think rather than hard and fast rules about sharing, people should look at the situation and help their kids to negotiate it with sensitivity to all involved.

    • carol

      Claire,
      You basically made the same point I was going to make. Just because a parent doesn’t believe in forcing a child to share doesn’t mean it is okay to let the child hoard a toy, especially one that doesn’t belong to them, as is the case at the rec center and school. At my preschool children can basically play with a toy as long as they want. If another child wants to play with a toy we encourage them to ask for a turn or to play with the child, if it is something that can be used by two people. The child has the right to say no. If it gets to where the child is using a toy, that others want, for an excessive amount of time then a teacher steps in and facillitates turn taking. At that point each child will get a certain amount of time, as oppossed to one child just being told they have to give up the toy. We also like to use conflict resolution and give the kids a chance to come up with a solution to the problem, but this is a process and wouldn’t work with random kids that haven’t been taught possible solutions.
      I also noticed that in all of the examples the author gave her child was the one that had the coveted toy. I wonder how she would feel if she had paid for and taken her child to the rec center only to have other kids hoard the toys her child wanted the entire time. Then she might not be able to just sit on the sidelines while her child plays. I don’t mean for that to sound snarky, but it just really got the impression that her child had the toy and she didn’t want to have to engage and deal with the situation. I get her relating sharing as a child to adult situations where people don’t share but it really isn’t apples to apples because children are often in scenarios where there are group toys that don’t belong any any one person. Children who learn to share and suggest ways to play with other children will have more friends, hands down. I believe that in real life adults do share. I know I have to share every day at work. Her examples of adults not sharing were poorly chosen. Children wouldn’t be expected to share in the scenarios she presente either.
      Carol

      • Claire

        Well said, Carol. And even adults using community property have to learn to following reasonable timeframe limits. A few examples: when I’m on vacation and go to the public library to check my email (yes, I’m a dinosaur who doesn’t have a laptop, ipad or iphone!), there are time limits so that everyone can get a chance to use the computers. In the old days when there were pay phones, I would have been very careful not to hoard the phone if there was a line of people waiting for a turn. I have never had a gym membership, but I’m sure that there are guidelines at gyms for how long someone can use a treadmill if other paying members are waiting for a turn.

  5. Pingback: Sunday Surf: March 24-30 | Old New Legacy

  6. Nicole

    I found this article very interesting. As stated by the previous commenters, I agree with some points, but very much disagree with others. I find it difficult to see a connection between teaching children to share and the current generation of young adults’ sense of entitlement. This article made me think of a point discussed by Ellen Galinskyin her book Mind in The Making, about teaching young children about other’s persepectives. She described studies that examined preschool children’s ability to understand this skill and the importance of teaching it.

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