Tomorrow marks the first day of December and begins a month of magic and excitement. I love the Christmas season. And it’s obvious my boys do too.
But to be honest, sometimes it’s hard to keep track of the whole Santa story. At our house, he stuffs the stockings and brings one present, the rest are from Mom & Dad. But my boys want to know why he brings all the presents at a friend’s house. Cousins know Santa’s presents by the special wrap, while at our house, Santa avoids the whole matching paper trap by displaying his gifts sans-coverings.
We set out the cookies (and some veggies for Rudolph), and Santa always leaves a note on Christmas morning. But we’ve already had an occasional, “Sally says Santa’s not real.” Which, for now, I simply answer with, “What do you think?”
I wrote last year about my take on Santa, why I’ve struggled with building him up too much, and how I came to understand why he’s so important (you can read the full post here: Do You Believe in Santa Claus?). That post was one of my first attempts at practicing “The Santa Talk” I’ll inevitably have with my boys someday. I want to remind them of when Santa really appeared in my husband’s childhood home and the magic it brought. The magic they can be a part of too.
More recently, I read a touching post by Martha Brockenbrough on the blog, Cozi. The Truth About Santa includes a beautiful and thoughtful letter the author penned to her daughter when presented with the question, “I NEED TO KNOW, ARE YOU SANTA? TELL ME THE TRUTH.”
So now, I need to know. Well, at least I would love to know, what do you do to celebrate the magic of Christmas and the story of Santa Claus? What do you do to teach a bigger concept of Santa? Have you had to answer the questions about Santa yet, and how have you handled it?
Please share your comments so we can each create a season, and a Santa, our children will treasure.
Top photo: Santa Claus 1895, source.
As I read this post, I wrestled with the thought of Santa. I feel in my heart “he” exists, but didn’t know how to put it, then I went back and read your post from last year about your F-I-L. That is exactly it. As we are struggling financially this year and I was not sure how we are going to give Christmas to our kids, I was approached on sunday and know that “Santa” will be visiting our house this year, much to my relief. My kids are always excited about Santa, but we don’t try and glorify him beyond what they believe. I have been asked some of the same questions as you and my answer seems to be the same, “What do you think?”
This is the second year we have had “The Elf on the Shelf” visit our house. I have actually worried about their belief in him more than Santa himself. They write letters, leave treats, and expect a reply every morning! But I also understand they are young and to keep that magic of Christmas alive is also innocense and part of childhood that should last as long as possible (within reason, lol). Our Elf, Mr. Cookie, will hopefully be leaving some tips, ideas, and fun activities that center on Christ and serving others to incorporate the True meaning of Christmas along with the magic.
Thanks for your thoughts and ideas. These posts have helped me clarify my own thoughts a little better on how to incorporate the spiritual and worldly aspects of Christmas to make more sense. Hopefully, I can teach my kids in a way that once they do find out a man in a red suit isn’t the one that brings the gifts they won’t feel complete disappointment, but be able to transition into understanding how to become Santa to others.
Shanon, I feel the same way you do about our Elf on the Shelf. I worry more about a discussion about him, ours is named Scout, then having the Santa chat which I feel like (with the help of great resources such as this) I can handle.
I wrote about this on my own blog recently. I really love the magic of Santa, but I don’t like how so many parents use Santa as a threat. So we will very specifically not be saying anything like “you need to be good so Santa will come!” (This year, several other adults have already said this to my almost three year old, including the Santa at the mall.) And Santa will bring a few presents at our house, but most of them will come from us. I want my daughter to know the magic of Santa, but for Santa not to be the central focus of the Christmas holiday.
I liked the letter on Cozi! I try to spend very little time talking about Santa during the Christmas season. If my kids talk about him, I will talk about him, but I try not to bring him up. I think the idea of Santa is a magical part of the season, but I find that they hear enough about him from friends, at the stores, etc. For our family, we want the focus of the season to be on Christ’s birth, so we talk about, read about, and sing about the birth of Christ a lot. Santa does bring one gift for each of our children and fills a stocking, but because he is not a focus of our holiday, so far it is not something that has taken up much of our time talking about. This is probably a cop-out, but when my kids (who are still young) ask me questions like, “Does Santa really come down chimneys?”, I say, “That’s what they say!” =)
I never did the whole Santa thing with my son- I think it’s completely unnecessary. Christmas has become a commercialised nightmare of greed and acquisition- why should I raise a child into that feeling of false entitlement? And why should I deceive a child? That’s not about magic, nor is it about innocence. Santa is red and white because it works for Coca Cola- I rest my case. The legend of St Nicholas has been warped out of all proportion.
What I see at Christmas in childcare is a whole lot of kids saying ‘gimmee gimmee gimmee’, because they’ve been taught to see Santa as a free ticket to whatever they momentarily fancy, and it breaks my heart because that is NOT an innocent behaviour. I’m happy to put up a tree, because it’s pretty, we can get creative with the decorations and I can talk about why the star is on top- but I don’t want to contribute to what’s already a feeding frenzy about Getting More Stuff.
My son had access to all the magic he needed via the bush where we lived, the stories we read together and his own imagination. When he realised that other children actually believed in Santa, he was bewildered at why their parents would lie to them.
And no, we didn’t do the Easter Bunny either…
We are just starting out with our santa traditions, but when he asks (and he will) I’m just going to pull out the “Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus” letter -he said it best, after all. And then I’ll let him decide how to proceed with Santa in our own house, and let him play Santa when we adopt angels every year.
I feel silly writing a comment because I don’t have a real direct answer. My son is starting to wonder if Santa is real and I am trying to find the balance in my answer. This week we talked about Christmas symbols-candy canes, gifts, lights, etc. I think I am going to try and use that to explain to him that Santa, or perhaps the spirit of Santa (not sure on the wording of this for a five year old yet), is a symbol too. It is a symbol of a loving Heavenly Father and His Son. I want him to believe in miracles and goodness and giving, but I don’t want him to get too carried away with Santa. I think I am going to figure out a way to explain that the spirit of Santa, the spirit of giving and kindness is real and when we see Santa that is what we should think about.
Katrina- No need to feel silly. I appreciated your thoughts (and the perspectives everyone has shared). I think sometimes sharing those still-forming thoughts are just as valuable as those we’ve held onto for a long time. Thanks so much for taking the time to write.
We do build up Santa in our home. My husband has reservations, but I will definitely be showing him this post, and the ones you linked to.
We personally have Santa bring two to three presents and the rest are from us. We try to make them what our son has asked for, but nature oriented. We wrap them in silver paper each year, while we wrap the ones from us differently. It is a bit of a challenge to make sure he NEVER sees the silver paper though.
My son is four and has to be coaxed into asking for something, yet goes through his room, freely picking out lots of his toys to give to others. I’m proud of my son, and I don’t believe Santa is harming him or making him feel entitled.
I also meant to say that I absolutely love this post, and the one about your father in law. I’ve shared on Twitter. Thank you so much for sharing this post.
We are into Santa 100% around here and my husband and I wouldn’t have it any other way. As they get older I will definitely share your husband’s story, as well as others like it, but for now we are all basking in the magic of it. We are not a religious family, so for us, the true meaning of Christmas lies in family and tradition.
I believe the magic of Santa is every bit for us as parents as it is for the kids. I truly enjoy their anticipation of Santa’s visit and the way their faces light up when they see that Santa ate the cookies they left every bit as much as I enjoyed receiving gifts from Santa as a kid. I also see them share the joy with eachother, even if they have had a hard time getting along. Hopefully it’s a feeling they will remember and want to share with their own kids. Santa is a gift that gives twice, once as a kid and again as a parent.
I really think that if presents were not involved they would be just as enamored by the magic of it all, but the presents don’t hurt! Life can be really hard and childhood goes by so quickly. I plan to fill as much of their childhoods with as much magic as I can.
“Santa is a gift that gives twice” I love that sentiment. It really is magical to be on the parent end of it, isn’t it?
It really is. If you think about it, who is Santa except someone else to make your kids feel loved? Who wouldn’t like that? Enjoy your boys, Amanda!
Our son is 2 1/2 so I don’t have a ton of experience. We do not play up Santa, yet he still can identify Santa in public. For me Santa helps put the idea of Jesus and the miracle of his life into a kid friendly idea. For our family, Jesus’ life, teachings, and sacrifice are the greatest gift. It’s hard to boil down that into ideas that young children relate to. So Santa is a temporary stand in for Jesus. Jesus loves us so much that he gave his life for us. Santa’s material gifts offers a small bite of that idea of love and makes the miracle tangible for kids. On the topic of kids asking about Santa being real…I am a teacher and when my students ask me I say, “I believe in St. Nick, he was a real person.” I will be honest with my son when he asks.
This conversation in the revised Miracle on 34th Street always catches my heart…
Kris Kringle: You think I’m a fraud, don’t you?
Dorey Walker: Fraud is a bit too strong of a word.
Kris Kringle: But you don’t believe in me.
Dorey Walker: I believe that Christmas is for children.
Kris Kringle: Well your daughter doesn’t believe in me, either.
Dorey Walker: I don’t think that there’s any harm in not believing in a figure that many do acknowledge to be a fiction.
Kris Kringle: Oh, but there is. I’m not just a whimsical figure who wears a charming suit and affects a jolly demeanor. You know, I… I… I’m a symbol. I’m a symbol of the human ability to be able to suppress the selfish and hateful tendencies that rule the major part of our lives. If… you can’t believe, if you can’t accept anything on faith, then you’re doomed for a life dominated by doubt.
If your family is religious we did, actually on accident, check out this book from the library. It tells a classic story of “the real” Saint Nicholas and how people around the world honor his selfless giving through the figures of Christmas.
My girls started elementary school this year so I am bracing myself for the extra questions this month. I am going to start with the “what do you think?” and see how far it can get me. I am thankful for moms like you who are out there having this discussion so I can be prepared.
I have a friend who when her daughter figured out Santa wasn’t real she congratulated her and basically said, “I’m so happy for you because now YOU are old enough to help spread the magic for the little ones too.” There family has an Elf on the Shelf and they still do the tradition, but the girls participate in hiding him. {love it}
Thanks again for the post!
Hmmm, seems like the book link didn’t work:
http://www.amazon.com/Santa-Are-You-Real-publication/dp/B001UBHHN6/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1322797341&sr=1-1
I love what Dense said — the gift that gives twice. Now that my children are older and the magic of santa is over, I have to say that I miss it terribly. The anticipation and joy are just so rich and real. We still have wonderful Christmases, but it is very different. We never used Santa to threaten our kids, but used him as a role model for kindness and giving. The mystery and magic just made it all so much more fun.
As a PreK teacher I try not to bring Santa too much into my classroom. I see that the parents of my students have very different views on Santa and I need to remain neutral as much as possible.
I’m loving this conversation. Thanks, everyone, for joining in!
My Santa talk with my daughter ended up with her laughing hysterically and saying, “I can’t believe you have to do all that work each year.” Happy ending.
I love happy endings, Lareen. Thanks for sharing!