If you happened to miss the introduction, I’m launching a project. I’ll be reading and discussing the book, Mind in the Making: The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs
The book discusses seven essential skills, so we’ll have seven discussions, focusing on seven chapters. First off, Skill One: Focus and Self Control.
I think the first thing that stands out in this chapter, of course, is the research showing how strongly these executive functions are related to future success. As the book suggests, they are as predictive as — if not more so than– IQ tests. So it seems we should be putting some of our focus, as parents and teachers, into building these essential skills.
I found it interesting, in this time when ADHD is considered by some to be an epidemic, that our fast-paced, technology-infused culture almost seems to feed into it. Think about some of the negative factors talked about in this chapter: stress, background TV noise, distracted parents, innappropriate technology use. And then think about some of the positive factors that children need, but which sometimes seem to be disappearing from our culture: simple games, “lemonade stands” (in all their forms), sitting down to a book, taking breaks, pretending, playing. To me, it all seemed to sum up to say: SLOW DOWN! We can’t expect children to learn to focus, if their days are all a hurried blur.
That’s not to suggest that the children of this generation are doomed to such a diagnosis, but it’s a reminder to me that I must be much more intentional and vigilent when making choices about what my children are exposed to and how we spend our time. Just as Galinsky points out in this chapter, many tools (TV and computer games for example) can be used both in good ways and bad. We need to be aware of those choices and make them intentionally. And I think we would all do well to slow down a bit, and make room for the things that really benefit our kids in the long run.
As an add-on to this chapter, check out this article by Ellen Galinsky in the Huffington Post, Promoting Self-Control: It Might Not Be What You Think. I felt like it summed up the chapter quite nicely. In my opinion, the main message is in this excerpt: “…Multiple studies…conclude that promoting “self control” is not learned by strict discipline, by keeping children at their desks, and by cutting out the so-called frills in curriculum and focusing just on academics.” It’s not something that is imposed, but something that is cultivated. It requires play, connections, and opportunities for choice.
It’s unfortunate that many regulations imposed on schools in the effort to increase success, may actually be working against it. When the focus becomes narrowed on academic information (particularly at the cost of recess, dramatic play corners, and PE), we may inadvertantly deprive children of the ability to focus on, master, and apply that information in meaningful ways. Intelligence — and more importantly, success — is not a simple matter of information in, information out. It’s a process that requires active experience, attention (not just from the children, but on them), and relationships.
So what were your impressions?
Next Tuesday, we’ll discuss Chapter Two: Perspective Taking. Join us!
You may also enjoy: Want to Give Your Kids an Advantage? Build Executive Functions.
If you go to this website http://mindinthemaking.org/article/category/focus_and_self_control/
you can take personal quizzes on the different areas of Focus and Self Control , it is very interesting. 🙂
The part of chapter one that struck me was the “time famine” idea on page 27 (at least in my book)
When she talks later about infants shutting down when too much stimulation, I wonder if as adults we could use a bit more of that… backing off when its too much… how much better parents and teachers we might be.
I’m so glad I read this post tonight. I have been wanting to go back and read this book more thoroughly. I was so excited when I first got this book I really just skimmed through it. I spoke with a kindergarden teacher today who uses “seat work” to punish children who cannot focus during circle time. Perhaps Galinsky’s book will give me some inspiration to help this teacher find meaningful ways to cultivate self-control, play, and learning. Thanks!
Amanda, this is great! I love to have other people to discuss books with. Looking forward to joining the conversation as soon as my book arrives.
I’m so excited that you are reviewing this book! I’m actually reading it for a class that I have to take and I cant wait to read what others feel about it. Personally I felt like the first chapter was a breath of fresh air. It’s important that we, as parents, first need to understand and practice the skills that we want our children to accomplish. And it isn’t through depriving and strict “discipline”! Again..so glad you decided to do a read along with this book. Thanks!
I love reading about your insights. So glad to have you reading along!
I read this book last year and really loved it. Chapter One resonates with so much of what I see around me. I have adult children and a baby grand-daughter. The rule for my daughter is when she comes over she has to turn off her phone. It got so ridiculous that we’d be at the dinner table and she would be checking messages and responding while trying to hold a conversation with us and feed the baby!!! I know better than to tell her how to parent, so I just said, “Sorry, the rule for the younger kids is no video games at the dinner table (DUH!) and so no phone for adults…it’s just good manners and we need to be the example. I have had to put a limit on the time I spend on the computer. We’re not big T.V. fans, but once I sit in front of the computer, I find it hard to walk away! It has to be a conscious effort…and so should parenting:)
This is so cool that you’re doing this, Amanda. I love it! My preschool director suggested this for our school book club & it’s been fascinating to read & discuss together. I really look forward to following along with you & your readers (and hearing what Ellen Galinsky has to say)!
-Gina
Thank you! Feel free to jump in with your thoughts as well!
Do you have the reading archived?
Yes, I do!
You can find the read along links, chapter by chapter, along with an interview series with Ellen Galinsky here:
https://notjustcute.com/interview-series/mind-in-the-making-read-along-series-and-interview/
(Glad you made it here from Tinkerlab, by the way! Rachelle told me you were coming. Such an honor to share readers with great blogs like that!)
Our school system has started a book club for Pre-K teachers. We have been assigned Mind In The Making as our first book to read and discuss. We partner with other schools to discuss the book monthly. I am looking forward to this experience and hearing from other teachers. I also have enjoyed furthering what I’ve read through your site. The comments are great and bring discussion thoughts as well as others ideas to our table. Thank you.
I realize the website is several years old, but I wanted you to know it is still informing teachers and is very useful and informative for us!
I’m so glad to hear that! It’s such a great book!