I was doing a training with a preschool/child care group recently where we were talking about the importance of relationships and connections — both between parents and children as well as parents and caregivers. During our discussion someone mentioned how common it was for parents to be chatting on their cell phones as they arrived to pick up their children.
Less than ideal from a connection standpoint.
I asked if they had considered making it a policy that parent’s finish their phone calls before picking up their children. Bank tellers and store clerks expect as much, shouldn’t we expect it for our children? I thought it might be a useful policy for other schools and child care centers to consider as well, so I thought I’d help out. You might start by posting this sign (PDF Link):
That’s the professional approach, the one I would recommend, but my feisty side couldn’t resist making this version as well.
Whether you’re the parent picking up, or the teacher at the door, here’s why we need parents to be present as they reunite with their kids:
Practical – Parents and teachers need a chance to talk, to discuss the day and get on the same page.
Personal – The moment when parents and children reunite is a powerful one. Parents communicate to their kids that they are important, loved, and wanted when they make eye contact, smile, and make themselves truly available. Taking the time to listen to the day’s events keeps you in the loop and sets an important precedence for keeping lines of communication open.
It’s hard to do all that with a phone to your ear.
Any school cell phone policies for parents out there?
Oh, you know I LOVE this post! I love the first sign, but the feisty one really gets to the heart of the matter. I think what you are offering here is awareness, and awareness is KEY to changing our actions. When I was living my highly distracted life, I became oblivious to the little times of connection that are really important to our children. As I read more and more research on it, I was saddened to realize a proper greeting — looking them in the eyes and saying, “Hello , how was your day?” — are like sunshine to our children’s souls. My mom always greeted me like she was so excited to see me — even when I was a grumpy teenager. I know with certainty that the way her face lit up when she saw me was a lifeline in some of my most desperate times. It saddens me to think about all the greetings I did not give my kids during my distracted years, but I now have awareness. Awareness is a powerful thing. It can help you make better choices. Today I am making better choices and thanks to you, many others will, too. I am so grateful for all that you do, Amanda.
Thank you for this important post!! The gift of our “presence” is the best gift we can give our children. One added thought…how about putting down the cell phone and making all interactions about connecting. Everyone deserves respect and the way we model that as adults in our everyday life is powerful.
This is an interesting, eye-opening post. The school my children attend (private daycare/charter elementary for ages 4 months to 6th grade) has as part of their policy that no cell phone conversations are allowed upon entering the building. There are signs posted as you enter the school. I assumed this common-sense policy was more prevalent than maybe it really is. In this particular school, the parents follow the policy and it greatly fosters chatting between parents in the hallway, focusing on your child as you greet him/her, and conversations with teachers. Talking on one’s cell phone as you are picking up your child would greatly diminish the quality of the community the school has cultivated.
This is a fascinating post. I can’t believe that we now need signs for common sense but we certainly do! I have certainly been guilty of talking on the phone at bad times and can always use a reminder like this! While I don’t ever remember being on the phone during pick up, I sure see plenty of people who are…
I would be happy if parents would turn off their phones on field trips!
I love this. But my only objection is that I think good manners would have us hang up our phones before picking up our drycleaning too. Retailers and customer service people deserve our full attention and respect too, even though they’re a service provider.
There you go with a valuable post between the relation of the children, parents and care takers. I wonder there are some conflicts between the care takers and parents in some countries. But these all should be waived away.
This is a wonderful approach to seeing what I’ve been doing wrong & where I could improve. But I have a question, I have a 13 yr old son who is ADHD/ Aspergers and has mild psycocis. His mental age is that of a 7 yr old. Will this work for him also? Because this is a major issue with him. Thanks