Whole Child Development
The story of Stone Soup is a popular old fable that has been retold countless ways. (If you need to brush up on the tale, you can find books at the library or online, and can even find online versions here and here.) You can help your children be a part of this timeless story as you do some story acting and then share some soup together!
I’m hoping you’ve spent enough time in your life observing water to understand the following analogy (and if you work much with preschoolers, I’m sure that you have). Imagine water running down a slight decline. It’s spreading and gaining speed, and headed right for , say, your favorite book. Destruction is imminent. And so you yell, “Stop! Water, stop! For goodness sake, STOP!” Does it work? Of course not. There’s too much momentum already at play. You try to stop it artificially by creating a dam. That seems to work for a moment, but soon the water rises, until it overflows and heads right for your treasured tome once again. Then you have an idea. A brilliant idea, by the way. You divert the water by digging a quick ditch, taking it in another direction. You redirect the water to a thirsty flower bed and both your book and the flowers are saved. You really are amazing, you know! Now, why did I tell you a random story about water? I hope that will soon be clear!
I want you to imagine now, a child whose behavior is undesirable, or inappropriate, or threatening certain destruction to person, property, or yes, even your favorite book. As I mentioned in last week’s post, it isn’t enough to say “Stop”. We have to describe the behavior we want. That may mean describing appropriate behavior, as we discussed last week. Sometimes, what is required is to redirect the behavior. Just as in the water example, there’s already momentum in the action, there’s already a need the child is trying to fill; the need to jump, the need to climb, the need to color. As we redirect, we move the momentum from an inappropriate or destructive direction into an appropriate, constructive direction. For example, moving from jumping off the tables into jumping off safe structures at the playground; from climbing up the bookshelves to climbing up a step ladder or climbing toy; from coloring on the wall to coloring at an easel.
With Thanksgiving just now appearing in our rearview mirrors, it’s time to start planning for Christmas! Most everyone needs a Christmas party idea. Whether you call it a “Christmas Party” or “Winter Celebration” or what have you, most preschools have some kind of celebration at the end of the year. Now whether you teach at a public or private school may have a lot to do with how you celebrate this time of year. Regardless of those classifications, I’ve found that a service party fits the bill. And surprisingly, I don’t think the children have ever been disappointed by the fact that this party is more about others than about them. Quite honestly, I think they take great pride in being able to help others. In addition to fostering pro-social skills, it makes them feel important, bigger, and more powerful. Those are things all preschoolers crave (though I think I know a few adults who crave them too)!
Here’s how it’s worked for me in the past. Read through it and make adjustments for your group based on their ages and ability levels, your center’s policies and procedures, and the needs of people in your local area. It has worked particularly well to have parents attend and help their little kiddos through this series of simple service activities. I start out with a story for everyone, then I explain the tables with projects, and from there, we basically have a “free-choice” time, where the parents and children just choose which project they would like to work on next.
Having good manners is a key social skill. It’s also a bit of an abstract concept for preschoolers. Using picture books as a tool for teaching good manners goes a long way in making that concept more concrete as the children can see illustrations and hear dialogue that makes these concepts more relatable. I like to read books about manners, particularly table manners, before snack time so that the children have an immediate opportunity to practice. Here are just a few books on manners that I enjoy.
When you hear the word “Reinforcement” in association with child behavior, you probably think about sticker charts and prizes. And you’d be right…..and wrong. Reinforcement is anything that increases and encourages any particular behavior. Just as a seamstress can reinforce a seam, or a general can reinforce the troops, reinforcement makes things stronger. In the case of behavior, reinforcement makes a behavior stronger, more likely to occur, and perhaps even become a habit.
Big Pumpkin
Piggie Pie by Margie Palatini is the perfect non-Halloween, Halloween book. It’s not specifically Halloween themed, but it is a creative combination of a grouchy, hungry witch and some sly pigs who use costumes to avoid becoming ingredients. As you read this story with your little ones, really play up the voices and point out the details in the pictures. With particularly young children, you may need to explain that the pigs are dressing up in order to trick the witch. From there, you can easily make connections with their own dress-up experiences, on Halloween or otherwise.
I would make a note of two things here. The end of the book ties this story in with the Big Bad Wolf from the Three Little Pigs. Very young children will have a hard time making that connection. You can help this connection by being sure that the children are already familiar with the story of the Three Little Pigs through previous activities, or you can just glide over it. It’s not a critical element in the story. Secondly, the witch does get upset several times in this book and basically throws a tantrum. Take the opportunity to teach social skills by pointing out her behavior and what is and isn’t appropriate behavior. It’s easy to point out undesirable behavior in a witch because, afterall, she is a witch. Don’t detract too much from the story, but if you’re seeing some similar behavior in your own children, you might give them the opportunity to be the expert and make suggestions for a better course of action for the witch. They may later realize these suggestions work for themselves as well!
Imagine we’re all going into business together. You, me, and those other cyberfriends out there. We’re starting a fix-it shop and we’re about to open our doors. We will handle all kinds of problems: broken windows, leaky pipes, squeaky doors….You name it, we can fix it! We’re about to start fielding phone calls from frantic home owners with all kinds of problems, and we need to make sure everyone has their tools ready. So we all check out our toolboxes. In each toolbox is one, solitary hammer. It’s shiny and new, and handy in many different situations, but is it really enough to get us through every situation?
As I mentioned before, we have to let go of the notion that we as adults need to control children’s behavior, and instead put the focus on helping them build their own self-control. There are some things we can control within each situation however. Among them, are the preventative actions we can take before a negative situation arises, as well as the positive reactions we can have to that behavior.
I have some bad news for some of you. There is no magical, easy, silver bullet approach to dealing with challenging childhood behaviors. If there was, there wouldn’t be shelves full of books on the topic in every book store and library. There would be one very short book and we would all have it memorized. There is no easy answer, but there is a series of attitudes and understandings and an assortment of tools and approaches, that we can choose from and use to address each individual challenging situation.
Content Copyrighted (2008-2025), Amanda Morgan, All Rights Reserved
