During the preschool years, children have a need to assert their independence. Giving them choices when it’s feasible feeds that need, and can stock up points in an account of sorts, to draw upon when choices are not negotiable. When children feel like they already have power, they are less likely to demand it through tantrums.
Think of the ways you can invite children to make their own choices. “Which barrette do you want to wear?” “Which center do you want to explore?” “Do you want 1, 2, or 3 apple slices?” Be careful when you’re phrasing the choice, to offer only those scenarios you are truly willing to accept. Don’t ask, “Which shoes do you want to wear?” if you are not willing to let him wear his plastic rain boots. Narrow down to only acceptable choices, two or three, therby giving him the choice of suitable options. Few things incur the wrath of a child like offering a choice, only to take it back.