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Whole Child Development

Spare the Rod: What Spanking Teaches Children

by Filed Under: Child Development & DAP, Positive Guidance and Social Skills, Uncategorized 30 Comments

I heard a comedian the other day, who really made a good point.  He said essentially this:  “My friends are always questioning my choice not to spank my kids.  They’ll often say, “Never?  You’ll never spank you kids?  There’s no situation where you think you might need to spank your kids?”  When I say I’ll never hit my wife, nobody says, “Never?  You’ll never hit your wife?  There’s no situation where you think you might need to hit your wife?”  This logic got a good laugh from the crowd, and I think it was spot-on.

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Magic Words for Guiding Behavior: “Let’s Pretend”

by Filed Under: Building Readers, Child Development & DAP, Create, Positive Guidance and Social Skills Leave a Comment

In Vivian Gussin Paley’s book, A Child’s Work: The Importance of Fantasy Play, she mentions the opportunity to use fantasy play as a tool for classroom management or child guidance.    I found this interesting, and it caused me to think about that premise, the ways I have used it in the past, and the ways I could use it to smooth out difficult situations.

As she states, “Conversations with children may arise out a ‘last straw’ annoyance, in other words, or from a sense of dramatic flow.  They can come from concerns over decorum or from respect for our imaginations.  Both approaches will manage a classroom, but one seems punitive and the other brings good social discourse, communal responsibility, and may have literary merit.” (pg. 74)

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Magic Words for Guiding Behavior: "Let's Pretend"

by Filed Under: Building Readers, Child Development & DAP, Create, Positive Guidance and Social Skills Leave a Comment

In Vivian Gussin Paley’s book, A Child’s Work: The Importance of Fantasy Play, she mentions the opportunity to use fantasy play as a tool for classroom management or child guidance.    I found this interesting, and it caused me to think about that premise, the ways I have used it in the past, and the ways I could use it to smooth out difficult situations.

As she states, “Conversations with children may arise out a ‘last straw’ annoyance, in other words, or from a sense of dramatic flow.  They can come from concerns over decorum or from respect for our imaginations.  Both approaches will manage a classroom, but one seems punitive and the other brings good social discourse, communal responsibility, and may have literary merit.” (pg. 74)

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Time-Out! Coaching Preschoolers to Social Success

by Filed Under: Child Development & DAP, Positive Guidance and Social Skills 15 Comments

I know it’s unbecoming to be a braggart, but there is one thing, about which I must boast.  I won the March Madness bracket competition in my husband’s family this year.  Now, I’m no bracketologist.  I tend to make my picks based on which state the team is from, or who has the cooler sounding name, and I like to pick the underdog as much as reason will allow.  I missed a lot of picks in my bracket, but the one pick that put me over was when I chose Duke.  That pick I made based on the fact that I knew who their coach was.

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Positive Guidance Tools of the Trade: Alternatives to the Traditional Time-Out

by Filed Under: Child Development & DAP, Positive Guidance and Social Skills Leave a Comment

When the practice of time-out first made its appearance on the child guidance stage, it was introduced as an alternative to corporeal punishment, the preferred method of the day for helping children see the error of their ways.  In this context, the nuance was a huge step forward.  Unfortunately, many, parents and teachers alike, have fixated on time-out and the result is a method run amok.

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Positive Guidance Tools of the Trade – Disengage

by Filed Under: Child Development & DAP, Positive Guidance and Social Skills Leave a Comment

My childhood and teenage years were shaped quite a bit by the fact that my dad was a lawyer and then a judge.  Building and presenting a logical and convincing argument was a favorite family pastime.  We engaged in (usually) friendly debate the way other families play Scrabble.  As my father’s child, I learned the art of pursuing an argument.  As a parent and a teacher, I have learned the art of ending one.

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Positive Guidance Tools of the Trade – Modeling

by Filed Under: Child Development & DAP, Positive Guidance and Social Skills 7 Comments

Charles Barkley is notorious for saying he is not a role model.  While this provided for an interesting campaign, and has the best intentions (implying parents should be a child’s primary role models, not athletes) it’s still a bit flawed.  (Sorry, Chuck.)  The truth is, any adult in view of a child, is to some degree a role model.  I mean, break down the word.  A role model is someone who demonstrates how a role is filled.  They are modeling behavior.  This is contingent upon a child being able to observe you, not upon your willingness or objection to being considered such.  Children are watching all around them and picking up cues on how to navigate social situations.  They are looking for social behavior to emulate as references for navigating their own social situations. 

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Positive Guidance Tools of the Trade – Problem Solving

by Filed Under: Child Development & DAP, Positive Guidance and Social Skills Leave a Comment

Teachers and parents of young children are notoriously good problem-solvers.  When discontent arises, we swoop in, assess the situation, and set timers, create turn-taking lists, grab another item for sharing, or utilize some other method from our bag of tricks.  We are so good at problem solving because we get so much practice!  This is all well and good, and at times a skill of survival, but to truly benefit children for the long run, it is ideal to involve them in the problem solving process.  It may slow things down a bit, but eventually you will find that you are “swooping in” less and less as the children build their own sets of social problem-solving skills and become more independent.

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