Follow Us

Not Just Cute

Whole Child Development

How a Baby with a Mustache Taught Me to Be a Better Parent

by Filed Under: Child Development & DAP, Learning through Play and Experience, Positive Guidance and Social Skills, Uncategorized 2 Comments

“I left a baby gift for you on your doorstep. It’s the perfect thing for a mom with four boys.”

My friend mentioned this to me casually as we both worked in our neighbor’s kitchen, preparing refreshments for a wedding.

The “impulsive three-year old” section of my brain wanted to drop what I was doing and immediately run next door to tear open this gift.  What could possibly be the perfect baby gift for a mom who had just had her fourth boy?  It was even more intriguing to me because this friend is an amazing mom herself.  She has seven children, and while I’m sure she has stories that would contradict my accounting, every one of them always seems so well-behaved, so kind, so creative, so smart, and so sweet.  She certainly knows a thing or two about motherhood, and so I hoped that this gift was some secret of the trade.  A talisman from my Jedi master.

The “responsible adult” section of my brain won out, and I helped out with food for a few more hours before making my way home to find a small wrapped box on my doorstep.  I slid my fingers through the tape and pulled out the box.

And started laughing immediately.

Here’s a look at what I found inside:

binky

That binky.  I laughed because it was hilarious, but I also laughed at myself for thinking the gift would be so serious. [Read more…]

Intrinsic vs Extrinsic. How Do We Motivate Kids? :Read Along Section 9- What If Everybody Understood Child Development?

by Filed Under: Child Development & DAP, Positive Guidance and Social Skills 4 Comments

child

Whether you’re a parent or an educator (or both!), child behavior is at the top of your concerns at some point in each day.  In the latest section of our read along series, What If Everybody Understood Child Development?: Straight Talk About Bettering Education and Children’s Lives (affiliate link), Rae Pica explores several topics surrounding our adult approaches to managing child behavior.  She shares a key concept that is at the heart of what I teach about Positive Guidance : [Read more…]

Are Parents Unable to Just Say “No” These Days?

by Filed Under: Positive Guidance and Social Skills, Uncategorized 2 Comments

Say no

Maybe you’ve noticed the latest trend in the running commentary on parenting.  “Parents today are too soft.  They’re raising spoiled kids who’ve never heard the word “NO”.  Parents need to show their kids who’s in control here.”

While I’m sure you could find plenty of examples to validate each perspective, I tend to wince a bit whenever I hear these tendencies to frame parenting in the extremes.  Take in enough of these stories and it would seem that as a parent, you have two choices.  You can either be a spineless push-over or a heavy-handed dictator.  But the truth of the matter is that we know from research that the majority of kids thrive in that sweet spot in between. [Read more…]

Parenting with an Audience and Dealing with Guilt (Psst: We’re all a little insecure.)

by Filed Under: Child Development & DAP, Positive Guidance and Social Skills, Uncategorized 9 Comments

boys

I remember that Sunday almost 8 years ago.  My family was settled in on a bench for a church service, a fantastic feat in and of itself, considering our 2 very young, very lively boys around ages 2 and 3 1/2 (details during those years are a bit hazy for obvious reasons).  In that phase Sunday church service was often a futile exercise in just keeping our boys in the ballpark of socially appropriate.  (OK, honestly we usually aim for the same goal these days.)  Just a few notches below a toddler-sized mosh pit. We were never the perfect row of quiet angels, and that was OK, but this Sunday was different, and I was stressed out about it.

[Read more…]

Get Our Newsletter & Developmental Guide