Whole Child Development
When Rebecca Eanes had her second son, her oldest had just passed his second birthday. As is the case in many families, when the new stranger arrived on the scene, wrapped in blankets and capturing the attention and admiration of all of his favorite people, Rebecca’s firstborn began to act out.
One of my favorite stories from my parents’ early experiences as a young married couple at law school ends with my mom opening her front door to find a friendly neighbor standing there next to my sister (a young preschooler at the time), who had stripped down to her nothings and was covered in mud.
My sister was elated.
Talking to kids can come so easily. They have thoughts about everything and stories for miles. They see the world in a completely different light, and could ask enough questions to fill an afternoon. I, for example, could ask my second oldest son to tell me what he thinks about Star Wars, and I’ll have to schedule out the next four days to listen to his stories, conjectures, questions, analyses, and highlights. My contribution will be simply to say, “Yes!”, “Wow!”, and “I hadn’t thought of that.”
Whether you’re a parent or an educator (or both!), child behavior is at the top of your concerns at some point in each day. In the latest section of our read along series, What If Everybody Understood Child Development?: Straight Talk About Bettering Education and Children’s Lives
Challenging child behavior comes from a variety of causes (you can read more about how to get to the root of those causes here). Because the causes are so varied, we have to have a variety of tools at the ready to help us respond appropriately. Just as Bob Vila carries more than just a hammer in his tool belt for addressing the variety of challenges presented in a home, parents and teachers need more than one tool for responding to behavior.
In my ecourse, Parenting with Positive Guidance, I teach 10+ tools for building positive discipline — the type of discipline that encourages both positive behavior and healthy relationships. Here is an introduction to one of my favorite tools: Redirection. [Read more…]
When children present us with their most challenging behaviors, it’s easy to fixate on what they’re doing that gets under our skin. We claim the behavior as the source of our frustration: he throws tantrums / she won’t listen / they constantly argue. But change rarely comes by focusing only on the symptoms. We have to care enough to get to the real source of the behavior.
I have this internal alarm that goes off whenever I haven’t seen or heard my toddler for 60 seconds. The realization usually startles me and I wonder off thinking, “Oh great. What is he doing?” Usually I find him emptying the soil from the potted plants, scrubbing the toothbrush drawer with a (wet) toilet brush, or exploring the markers (which are thankfully washable) at the art table….and on every adjoining wall. It’s a tough job to keep up with kids, and all the things they DO.
I’m sharing a little sneak peak into my newest ebook, Positive Parenting: The Basics.
I often write about the importance of giving children choices. They are struggling with a need to feel powerful in a world that often makes them feel powerless. Being able to take control and make their own choices gives them that powerful feeling, meaning they feel less compelled to seek out power in negative ways like tantrums or fighting.
Children also need to be offered choices to give them practice making decisions and experience handling consequences as life skills. Giving children choices is important. But it is also important to recognize that as adults, we need to be clear in setting the boundaries for those choices. [Read more…]
My son cut a hole in his t-shirt the other day. Well, according to him, the scissors were just walking on the counter when they walked right over to him and cut a hole in his shirt. Now, you and I know which scenario is most likely true, but does he? That gets complicated.
The philosophy of positive guidance is one that is often misunderstood. Both by observers and practitioners.
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