I read a passage way back during my undergrad that has stuck with me all these years. It’s premise was this, “If you first teach a child that you love him, you can then teach him anything else.” I really think this is true. Whether you’re teaching proper behavior or names of shapes, any child (any person for that matter) is more receptive to direction and correction when it comes from a person with whom they have a positive relationship.
Positive Guidance Books to Back You Up
Now and then I’m asked for positive guidance resources. I’m sure there are plenty out there (and if you know of them, please comment and fill us all in), but I have two that I usually recommend. These books are great reinforcements for those days when you need a second opinion!
Positive Guidance Tools of the Trade: Alternatives to the Traditional Time-Out
When the practice of time-out first made its appearance on the child guidance stage, it was introduced as an alternative to corporeal punishment, the preferred method of the day for helping children see the error of their ways. In this context, the nuance was a huge step forward. Unfortunately, many, parents and teachers alike, have fixated on time-out and the result is a method run amok.
Positive Guidance Tools of the Trade – Disengage
My childhood and teenage years were shaped quite a bit by the fact that my dad was a lawyer and then a judge. Building and presenting a logical and convincing argument was a favorite family pastime. We engaged in (usually) friendly debate the way other families play Scrabble. As my father’s child, I learned the art of pursuing an argument. As a parent and a teacher, I have learned the art of ending one.
Book Activity: Raymond and Nelda
Here’s a quick one for those of you looking for more mail-themed reads. Raymond and Nelda is a story of….well, Raymond and Nelda, of course! They’re best of friends but have a falling out. Their neighborhood mail lady sees both of them upset and urges them to work it out. Through a series of letters they eventually come to understand that they each made mistakes and need to apologize because their friendship is more important than their pride. This book is great for tying together the themes of friendship and communication!
You could follow this book up with a variety of mail-themed activities, but I usually have a short discussion about the social aspect of the books (being a good friend and making apologies) and then build some pre-reading skills by doing a little phonemic awareness exercise in small groups.
Mailing May and Mailing Me!
Back in 1914, a five year-old little girl by the name of Charlotte May Pierstorff wanted desperately to visit her grandmother, but her parents couldn’t afford the $1.55 it would cost for a train ticket. Soon her family hatched an ingenious plan and, with the help of a cousin who worked on the mail car of the train and some creative application of the postal code, May was sent by parcel post with 53 cents in stamps on her coat. This true story is told in wonderful narrative fashion and with beautifully detailed watercolor illustrations in the book, Mailing May , written by Michael O. Tunnell and illustrated by Ted Rand.
My Magic Words
If you haven’t heard of Signing Time, you should check it out. It has an inspiring background story, and the research behind preverbal signing in hearing children can be quite compelling. Though they are oblivious to all of that, my boys just really enjoy it, and that’s why we’ve watched many episodes at our house. It’s a fun and dynamic mix of vocabulary, song, and sign.
You've Got Mail!
Do you remember how excited you were to get mail as a child? The mail system seemed magical and mystical. You might get a package from Grandma, an invitation to a birthday party, or a letter from a secret admirer. The possibilities were endless! In these days of email and text messages, children still love to get mail! Here’s a great mail activity that will give them the opportunity to get and send mail while also getting some practice with recognizing and forming their written names.
You’ve Got Mail!
Do you remember how excited you were to get mail as a child? The mail system seemed magical and mystical. You might get a package from Grandma, an invitation to a birthday party, or a letter from a secret admirer. The possibilities were endless! In these days of email and text messages, children still love to get mail! Here’s a great mail activity that will give them the opportunity to get and send mail while also getting some practice with recognizing and forming their written names.
Positive Guidance Tools of the Trade – Modeling
Charles Barkley is notorious for saying he is not a role model. While this provided for an interesting campaign, and has the best intentions (implying parents should be a child’s primary role models, not athletes) it’s still a bit flawed. (Sorry, Chuck.) The truth is, any adult in view of a child, is to some degree a role model. I mean, break down the word. A role model is someone who demonstrates how a role is filled. They are modeling behavior. This is contingent upon a child being able to observe you, not upon your willingness or objection to being considered such. Children are watching all around them and picking up cues on how to navigate social situations. They are looking for social behavior to emulate as references for navigating their own social situations.
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